Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation: Cruise Control Has Never Been So Exciting.

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Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to overlook the fact that this series would feature dramatically different endings if their missions were, in fact, impossible and instead just sit back and enjoy.

I highly recommend you choose to accept the mission.

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Southpaw: Not Quite ‘Phenomenal,’ But Gyllenhaal Delivers a Knockout Performance

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“The Italian Stallion.”

“The Raging Bull.”

And now, “The Great.” As far as nicknames go, Billy “The Great” Hope is a little lackluster in the creativity department, but articulation isn’t really his thing anyway.

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Trainwreck: Off the rails, but never too far gone.

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Break out your personal juice box of wine and kick up your feet – it’ll be easier to put the proverbial shoe on the other foot.

*Side note: Don’t actually put your feet up, or you may find yourself in a John Cena-esque theater confrontation.

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Ant-Man: Is It Too Late To Change The Name?

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What is this, a movie for ants?

Of all the size jokes I could have made – and many have been made since the film’s release – this seemed most apropos.

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The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Perks Cover

Yes, I am fully aware that this film came out roughly two years ago. And, yes, I saw it at that time. BUT, I completely forgot that I had written a review for it and recently rediscovered the file. As a film I thoroughly enjoyed, I figured it’d be okay to share it 100 weeks late.

Lerman brings to life one of literature’s most complex teens.

For most teenagers, high school’s a tough enough place even when you have things pretty well figured out. But when you’re awkward, quiet, and frequently emotional for reasons you can’t understand, it’s downright painful.

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Guardians of the Galaxy

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You’re a kid, you just lost your mother, you don’t know your father, and you’re abducted from Earth. Talk about a rough start.

But, as with all superheroes, greatness is born through adversity. And Guardians of the Galaxy from Marvel Studios is definitely great.

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Let’s Be Cops

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Code Four – all clear here.

Touted as this summer’s ultimate buddy cop movie, Let’s Be Cops launches right into a stream of one-liners, cop movie clichés, and situational absurdities without so much as reading your Miranda rights.

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22 Jump Street

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Don’t even bother seeing it. It’s the same exact case, and they solve it the same exact way as last time. Or at least that’s what they half-heartedly try to make you believe throughout the entire film.

In reality, you need to watch where you step because Vietnamese Jesus is drippin’ swagoo all over this sequel.

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Neighbors

Neighbors

Delta Tau Chi (Animal House).

Lambda Epsilon Omega (Old School).

Delta Psi?

It remains to be seen whether the antics of Neighbors Delta Psi house can live up to the frat legends seen throughout the history of film. As it stands now, I’m not convinced that pledges would be making Delta Psi their first choice.

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